A day at the Office... Depot

For the past 10 months or so, I've been slowly getting this fanmail package for one of my favorite actresses together. Of course I'm the queen of procrastination. Well, now I'm finally getting everything together and I'm trying to get all this sent out by the end of the month. I want it to be perfect, and it's turned out to be a few more steps than I anticipated. Anyway, now that the ball is rolling, I'm now figuring out the shipping process and costs. It's hella expensive! But during my research, I found out that you can go to Office Depot and ship things there via UPS or USPS. I had something else to ship out so I figured why not give it a try. I was so stupid. It turned out to be at least twice as much as if I went directly to the post office during work. But while I was waiting to be helped, I noticed a girl. There were a few customers in the area and there were only two people who were working in this section. This girl was on the phone while I started with the guy, and has since finished and was directed to help me. Now it's a general thing for me to try to be friendly with everyone, trying to make small talk. I know how it is to work with customers so I want to make this as easy for everyone as possible, maybe even a little fun. So I was chatting it up with this girl cuz she looks like the shy type and there would've been some awkward silences while she was helping me. As I was talking to her, I noticed some lines on her arm. Then her other arm. They were horizontal scars about 2 inches from her elbow, and I am 99.9% sure they were scars from self-harm. All I wanted to do was give her a hug. I wanted to tell her that I hope she's ok and that she's not cutting anymore. I can't even begin to imagine what drove her to do it. I'm not even going to pretend that I was never like that. In high school I tried cutting. That whole 2 second experience made me realize that I am a giant wuss. I couldn't even stand it when I tried. Stupid me was curious. I vowed to never do it again, and I haven't. Luckily, I didn't see rows of lines, just maybe 2-3 of them per arm. To me, it's still upsetting that someone chooses to go through that voluntarily, but I'm glad that a lot of people get out of that dark place. That takes incredible strength to go from hell and back. Unfortunately you can't always just go up to someone you don't really know and comment on their scars, especially if they are self-harm ones. It's a sensitive topic that I don't want to push, unless they want to talk about it. I have my own opinions but if they are detrimental to someone's recovery, I will gladly keep my mouth shut and let them do their thing, as long as they're going in the right direction. I guess that's part of the reason why I want to be a high school counselor. They have so much ahead of them and I want them to make sure that they can take the world by storm. It's also a valuable lesson that it's ok not to have your life figured out before you graduate college let alone college. Choosing one path for the rest of your life before you even know what's ahead is so difficult unless you already know. It's kind of like saying to someone, "hey go ahead and build this bridge since now you're an adult. By the way, you will be crossing through it the rest of your life." Now, most people kind of already know the general idea of how they want their bridge to function. Others have no clue, except they know it has to go from one side to another. Others have zeroed in on it since childhood and they've already drawn up the blueprints. What all these scenarios have in common is that they have a general direction, and they all can't build the bridge just yet. With life experience, jobs, school, the tools are gained. They may not be given to you in any order, and sometimes you don't know wtf kind of tool is given to you. You may even not know what to use it for until after you've started building. Sometimes you have to wait until other materials come in. Sometimes there's budgetary problems or time constraints, or just plain side-tracking because of other projects. Then finally after a bit of time and hard work, you have your bridge. You can go on your journey to the past and back to the present as you see your methods as you cross. Then you get to find out where this bridge leads and explore those lands. Life is an adventure and a lot goes into it, but you also get so much out of it too. What I hope that girl has realized is that instead of thinking of it being impossible to build a bridge across the chasm, or the tumultuous waters, is to realize that the methods or surroundings are just not ideal to get the project going. Sometimes you need a new environment to start fresh, or the way you've been going about to build this bridge just isn't working out. Sometimes there's more than one way to do things, and you'll just need another way. That chasm or crazy waters will be crossed one day. You don't have to look down when you're done with the bridge, but if you do, you can see what your hard work can easily get over now. It's doable.

Starting Anew

I really don't know what it is where I have to go ahead and start a new blog every few years or so. I guess I just love the feeling of having a blank slate. I always have some kind of intentions for my blogs but they never come to fruition, or random followers kinda ruin things for me. Weird. I shouldn't let an audience change how or why I write, so here's to hoping that this time it's a charm.

Besides, I can't let writing go. It's therapy sometimes! Plus it's always fun looking back and just seeing how the day went or such. This is it. I'm keeping this one up.