A difference in opinion

Sometimes it really sucks when you have a difference in opinion with someone. I'm usually the type who would rather avoid confrontation than get into it with someone. I don't know if it's a confidence issue, a laziness issue, or a combination of the two, but it's just not a comfortable situation for me. I don't like offending people and I especially don't like getting offended, so why bring it up? I try to smooth it over and deflect so that we would be back on comfortable terms. What I do like is those people who you can say whatever to and even with the difference of opinion, state your difference then drop it. Or if there are any questions, answer them and then drop it. I know it's not the end of the world if someone disagrees with you, but people can get so passionate or they just can't leave it alone that it can often lead to unnecessarily hurt feelings. The real test in friendship or character is in the bouncing back.

Bouncing back is always an interesting thing. People deal with it differently, or people deal with it differently according to the situation. I suppose that's why there's 7 stages of grieving. Of course, it doesn't sound that drastic, but it seems like the same thing on a smaller scale. With some things I like to try to rip it off like a band-aid, just get it off so I only feel a small sting instead of a slow and painful tear. Other things I do the band aid thing but allow myself to go through the emotions so I don't leave any emotion unfelt that I'm not supposed to leave out so I don't dwell on it later for some incomplete feeling. The third thing I do sometimes is that I completely block it out -- the pride block. This is where I don't allow myself to feel it, or I deflect it with pride. It can't hurt you if your walls are up, right? Someone insults me? Well pride block it and insult them back! I feel like this tactic is definitely hit or miss; that it works or it's detrimental.

I guess avoiding conflict is just another way for me to avoid feeling. Sometimes it's easier to be numb than it is to go through the process. Some people feel like the pain and chaos is worth it, others don't. I teeter on the fence between the two, just waiting for the wind to push me one way or the other. Some days I lean one way, other days I lean the other way. It's just one of those situations where you have to play it by ear and just improvise. Eventually you'll learn the difference if it's worth it or not to bust the issue open, or which method is better to cope. Oh life, you never have the instructions, and it's one big improv.